My grandmother was a remarkable woman.
Those of us gathered here today know this. As do the countless people who have sent notes, called or stopped by, and even posted from around the world on various social media sites.
She was remarkable for many reasons:
her intellect, her tenacity, her tenderness,
her willingness to try new things, her hunger for learning,
her nimble piano fingers, her crossword prowess, and her bird call recognition,
her tech-saaviness, her compassion, her elegance, and her feminism,
her awareness of the aesthetic qualities of life, her inspiring marriage,
her attention to friendship, and all the other reasons we each hold so dear.
But in the difficult days that have settled in since her passing, I have come to realize that my grandmother, our Betty Ann, was—and will remain—remarkable for another reason. In fact, in the midst of mourning, I’ve come to realize that each of us who has been privileged to know her,
to work alongside her, to collaborate with her, to learn from her, and to be loved by her has been given a heartening gift: the remarkable gift of her continuing presence.
It’s funny, we don’t often realize until someone is no longer physically beside us, just how much they remain with us in so many other ways.
In the midst of our heartbreak, this realization brings a small slice of solace.
My grandmother’s presence is everywhere.
And no where is it as vital as it is within our family. Anyone who knows Betty and Harlan’s children knows that Betty’s spirit lives vibrantly in each of them.
It beats wildly in Marsha’s determined drive for excellence and her contagious laughter.
It warms Bruce’s commitment to building local community and his envel-oping hugs.
It is the foundation of Doug’s careful thoroughness and his strong belief in equality.
It is the root of Clare’s intelligence and inspiring grace that nurtures those around her.
And it is alive in Paul’s sense of joy in the world and his capacity to turn any moment into music.
In each of them, Betty’s presence is very much still with us.
As one of her grandchildren, I am lucky to continue to soak up Betty’s presence through the stories my grandfather and my aunts and uncles tell, and the ways in which they each embody and commemorate her way of being in the world.
As one of her grandchildren, I am also so blessed to have had a grandmother with whom enchanted cottages exist and possibilities become realities. Though I will miss our regular email exchanges, video chats, and rich conversations about education, art, technology, writing, travel, and family, I know that these conversations course through me everyday.
They shape who I am and will continue to live in me, just as they live in each of her children and grandchildren.
And probably in each of you here.
In thinking about the remarkable gift of Betty’s continuing presence, I understand that my grandmother has given us all yet another gift: the gift of gratitude.
Now this is not a passive gift. No, our ever-productive Betty would not want us to rest idly in gratitude. With this gift of thankfulness comes great responsibility. This is gratitude as a verb.
That in living our appreciation of Betty, we will continue to bring life to the legacy with which we’ve been so generously blessed. That in thanking my grandmother for making us better people, we continue to share her spirit to all those we encounter.
What remarkable gifts to leave with us.
What a remarkable woman.
What a remarkable life.
We are so blessed to know you.
Thank you.